


Notes from the Raven

by dessert_first



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessert_first/pseuds/dessert_first
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Ben:</p><p>Are we still friends?</p><p>Eric</p>
            </blockquote>





	Notes from the Raven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luzula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luzula/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, Luzula! I hope you like this. Many thanks to both my betas, the wonderful Sageness and Exbex.

Dear Ben,

Are we friends again?

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

Were we ever not?

Ben

***

Dear Ben,

Good. Just wanted to check if when I wrote this time I'd get you or the Mountie. For a while, I had thought he'd swallowed you up, and I'd never see you again. You always swore you'd never turn into your father, remember?

You haven't.

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

It was good to see you, as well. I trust Victoria, Albert, Sarah, Patty, David and the children are all in good health and spirits?

Diefenbaker misses you.

Ben

***

Dear Ben,

You didn't ask about June or Innusiq. Not while I was visiting, either. They are fine. June misses you.

Everyone else is doing well. They worry about you out there in Chicago, all by yourself. Is your father's ghost still with you? I saw him in a vision last week, back straight and hands awkward, the way he was when he would come to visit you. He'd brought you river rocks from the North.

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

Even posthumously, my father is as unpredictable a presence in my life as he ever was, I'm afraid. If anything, it's become more frequent, though often his timing remains a trifle inconvenient. Thank you for asking; as you might imagine, the topic is something I am rather hesitant to bring up with my colleagues here in Chicago, for a variety of reasons. It has been quite a balm to be able to discuss it with you in our letters, since Dad made his unexpected return into my life.

I am glad that June is well.

Ben

***

Dear Ben,

Liar.

June

***

Dear Ben,

I'm sorry June got into my mail. You're not a liar, and June says she is sorry. She just misses you. You should come visit us, if the Mountie will let you have some time off.

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

I had not realized our correspondence was open to perusal by other people. I fail to see why.

Ben

***

Ben,

Just come home.

Eric

***

Fraser wasn't surprised to find his door ajar and Eric sitting at his kitchen table one evening seemingly out of the blue, Diefenbaker curled adoringly at his feet. He'd known full well that ignoring Eric's summons would result in this, and perhaps been a little too eager to provoke it, to see what would happen.

Still, he felt completely unprepared, standing in his doorway in full dress uniform, tired from a long day of work, a case he and Ray had been working on finally breaking. And now Eric there, wearing that little not-smile of his, the green of his shirt setting off his dark hair. He looked the same, and it seemed to Fraser as if he should look different, somehow.

"Do you remember my grandmother Essie?" Eric asked.

"Of course," Fraser replied, squaring his shoulders, hat firmly clutched in his hands.

"She was a spirit doctor, you know, she's the one who taught me. When I was born, she had a vision."

Fraser stepped forward, drawn in despite himself. "You never told me that."

Eric shrugged. "She told me when I was sixteen. Said I would have two great loves, both outsiders, one woman and one man. This would be my choice."

Not this again. "Would you like some tea, Eric?" Fraser shut the door and moved into the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and putting it on, sorting through the tin of tea bags. The routine was comforting, solid.

"Even if you don't want to hear it," Eric said, rising to slowly to stand beside Fraser in the tiny kitchen, "You're going to have to accept it some time."

"I wish you and June every happiness," Fraser didn't look at Eric, busying himself setting out two mugs.

Eric took Fraser's hand, pulling it away from the mugs. "I married June," he said. "But I still love you. I will never stop. This is my heart."

"If I weren't…" Fraser brushed his other hand down over his uniform, the commitment Eric had been so angry about all those years ago.

"Stop." Eric covered Fraser's mouth with a firm, gentle hand. "We cannot unmake our choices. I'm happy, and you will be, too. You just have to find the balance between the Mountie and the man."

The water boiled, and Fraser drew far enough away from Eric to place a teabag in each mug. He turned off the stove and poured the hot water, gathering up the mugs and carrying them to the table.

Eric followed him, sitting with him at the table, gamely accepting the mug Fraser handed him.

"I still want you to come visit us, you know," he said.

"Ah, well…" Fraser demurred.

"Something is coming," Eric said seriously. "Big changes. You should come with us first and regroup. The deeply rooted tree is best able to withstand the storm."

"Have you seen something?" Fraser asked.

Eric shook his head. "It's a feeling, but I think something good is coming for you. Great sadness, too. Sometimes the Universe gives with one hand and takes with the other. Come stay with us first."

"All right," Fraser decided, startling himself. "I do have some vacation time owed me."

Eric's strong, calloused hand clasped Fraser's and Eric smiled. "Good. That's good, Ben. And tell your father I said hello."

***

Dear Eric,

You were right. I feel completely cast adrift here by certain circumstances that occurred upon my return to Chicago. It's nothing I can discuss, I'm afraid, but I feel... I don't have words for how I feel. Everything is upside down, my home burned down, and I miss a man I speak to every day. If I hadn't been to visit you, this storm might well have blown me clean away, just as you said. It still might.

I'm enclosing the address to the Consulate, since that is where I will be receiving my mail for the time being.

Ben

***

Dear Ben,

Did you find the gift the storm swept in? I felt you did. Sometimes a vessel must be emptied out and cleaned before it can be filled again, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to go through it.

I am glad the visit helped, I only wish we could do more. I'll pray for you.

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your prayers.

I think I know the gift you mean.

Ben

***

When they reached sight of his father's cabin, Fraser wasn't surprised to see smoke coming out of the chimney and snowmobiles parked out front. He signaled to Ray, who nodded and urged the sled dogs faster.

"I thought you said this was your dad's cabin, Frase?" Ray asked, frowning, when they stopped. "You got company?"

"Yes," Fraser helped Ray unharness the dogs. "It seems there is a Tsimshian family living here."

"A what now?" They took care of the dogs, giving Diefenbaker some extra kibble, and headed for the cabin door.

It opened just as Fraser reached for the handle, and Albert's son Matthew looked up at him and Ray with wide eyes. "Uncle Eric! Ben's home!" he bellowed, then scampered inside the house. Eric made his way over, ruffling his nephew's hair in passing.

"Hey, Ben," Eric said easily. "Welcome home." He pulled Fraser into a warm embrace, then turned to Ray, smiling at him as well. "I'm Eric. It's good to meet you."

"Hi," Ray shook his hand. "I'm Ben's partner, Ray. Uh, Kowalski."

"Oh, I know." Eric's brown eyes were warm. "We've been waiting for you."

The cabin was warm and noisy with the chatter of Eric's family. Victoria was stirring something on the stove, which Fraser feared did not bode well--she was a wonderful mother, friend and leader, but also quite possibly the worst cook Fraser had ever encountered, and that was including June's unfortunate Scout Troop experiments. He mentally prepared his excuses as he removed his parka.

Eric led Ray inside, introducing him to everyone, and Fraser was about to follow when a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Hello, June," he said.

June smiled. She looked beautiful, her hair long and shiny, face bright with happiness. "It's so good to see you, Ben." Without warning, she swept in and hugged him fiercely. Awkwardly, he put his arms around her and hugged her back, and she held on until he gave in and melted into the embrace.

"It's good to see you, too," he said, honestly.

"We'll get out of your hair soon, we just wanted to welcome you home."

"I'm moved you came so far to do so," Fraser said.

"We're still family," she told him. "You and me and Innusiq, just like we swore when we were kids. I haven't forgotten."

He cleared his throat. "Neither have I." He was about to say more when he was suddenly pulled clean off his feet in a massive hug.

"Ben!" Innusiq said, laughing. He'd been such a small child, but had grown into a bear of a man.

"Innusiq," Fraser said politely. "Could you perhaps, ah..."

"Oh, sure," Innusiq said, putting Fraser down. "Come on, I wanna go meet your boyfriend."

"Frase, you gotta try this stew, it's fantastic!" Ray called from across the cabin.

"I'm sure it is," Fraser said in his heartiest voice. "I'll be right over, it smells delicious."

"You've been out on the tundra a long time, huh?" Innusiq said, his normally booming voice pitched low in deference to his sister in law. Nobody had the heart to tell Victoria what they really thought of her cooking.

"It's been invigorating," Fraser said. "But I'm sure Ray is certainly feeling the need for a hot meal not cooked on a campfire, a hot bath and a warm bed. I could do with those myself, to be honest."

"Well, it's hot," Innusiq said doubtfully. "That much we can promise."

"It's all right, everyone pitched in with the cooking—well, except me, so thank me later." June grinned. "So, that's your fella, huh? Eric was right, something good did come to you. You look happy."

"Yes," Fraser said, smiling. "I am."

"I'm glad," June said. "Listen, I'm really sorry about the whole thing with your mail that time, I just—"

"Please," Fraser said. "It's forgotten."

"I was just so mad, you know? We used to be friends, family, and then the whole thing with Eric came and you couldn't even look at me anymore. It was like I found my soul mate but at the very same time I lost my brother."

Fraser was touched. It was true, long before he'd ever dreamed of Maggie appearing in his life, he'd already had a sister. "As it happens, I went through something similar, myself, in finding Ray. I'm sorry, June."

Eric, with his usual timing, chose that moment to come over, putting an arm around Fraser and another around his wife. "Come on," he said. "Ray is asking for you and you have to at least pretend to try the food."

Fraser chose the better part of valor and let himself be led to the kitchen table. He sat next to Ray, with Eric at his other side and June and Innusiq across from them. Next to Eric, Victoria started ladling stew into more bowls and giving them to Albert to pass around.

"Fraser, I think the hand of Franklin might be _in_ this stew," Ray said, _sotto voce_. He'd shed his heavy parka and a few layers in deference to the heat. Eric and June's youngest daughter sat in his lap, busily making a sculpture out of the leftover potatoes on Ray's plate. "This is great! Well, not the stew, the stew is not great, but this, I like this. I didn't know you'd have a cabin full of Tsimshian waiting for us at the end of our adventure."

"Well, they're not all Tsimshian, Ray. June and Innusiq are Inuit, but when June married Eric, they--"

"It's cool, Frase," Ray interrupted. "Albert already showed me the family tree, I think it's greatness. You know, with friends like these, a guy might want to stick around in Canada."

"Ah." Fraser's heart sank. "Well, I'm afraid this part of the Territories is very isolated, Ray. They came a long way to be here, and it's impractical to hope they'd be able to make such a journey often."

"Oh yeah?" Ray asked. "Then it's a good thing that was a line."

"A line, Ray?"

"Yeah, you know, a line? I was fishing."

"Fishing, Ray?"

"Jeez, Fraser, you are not this dim. The _kid_ gets it!" Ray gestured at the child in his lap, who babbled happily.

"Just ask him to spend the rest of his life with you, already," Eric said, elbowing Fraser.

"Now, _that_ is a smart man," Ray said, leaning across Fraser to point two fingers at Eric. An expectant hush fell over the table.

"Well, he's never led me wrong thus far," Fraser said, smiling. "Ray, would you kindly consider spending the rest of your life with me?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Ray grinned.

***

Dear Eric,

Thank you again for the warm welcome you and your family were so kind as to offer Ray and me. He has yet to accept a new undercover assignment back in Chicago, so for the time being, we are still on that "honeymoon," as Innusiq insisted on calling it.

Did you know, when you met June, with the certainty I feel when I look at Ray? I think you must have. I am sorry for the part I played in our estrangement, but to borrow a turn of phrase, this is my heart, for all I strive to master it. I can only say that I am glad to call you friend again.

Ben

***

Dear Ben,

I did know when I met June. I knew when I met you, too, all those years ago when we were kids. What I didn't know was how winding the road would be, in both those cases.

When I first found you in Chicago, looking for David, ready to return what had been stolen without qualm or hesitation, I thought the Mountie had won for good. No paper bird, no Raven tale, not even a gun in your face could bring me back my friend.

I wanted to see the man. I wanted to see my friend. And now I have.

Eric

***

Dear Eric,

A wise man once told me that I would be happy once I found the balance between the Mountie and the man. I think I have. I know I try to, every day. Ray is a great help in that regard, and now I have June, Innusiq, Maggie and you to help as well.

I think the reason my father defied even death, stubborn to the last, was that final effort of the man, determined to do what he hadn't managed in life: to be a father. To be _my_ father. I am thankful for that time he stole, for me. For himself. Of all the things he tried to teach me, in his singularly odd way, I think this is the lesson I will endeavor to keep with me. His tally of criminals caught and disasters prevented was monumental, but in the end, that was just the Mountie. It wasn't what he came back for.

You did bring me light, Eric, and I will always be grateful.

Your friend,  
Ben


End file.
